Anatomy of a Committee

Perhaps it is because I am on the faculty of a school of music, and hence surrounded by fellow musicians during committee meetings, but Charles Noble's description of an orchestra committee sounded eerily familiar. Here are two of the creatures found in both environments:

The Pompous Ass. There are also often several of these in the orchestra, though they could be split into two sub-species: the Private Pompous Ass and the Public Pompous Ass. Once this person is given the floor, you can feel the air go out of the room as they inhale in preparation for their 15 minute encyclical on all things orchestra. Sometimes these lectures have something to do with the topic at hand, but more often they have to do with themselves and how important their experiences are to the orchestra.

The Alien. This person is also known as the head scratcher. They say whatever they have to say, and then you can hear the sound of dandruff flakes hitting the floor about halfway through, most often accompanied by arched eyebrows and mouthings of “huh?” and “what?” by the other, Earth-native orchestra members. Generally, this species has come of age and experimented during the 60’s, but that’s not a rigid requirement.

I, of course, am a Alien-Smart Ass hybrid, making jokes that even I don't understand.