Saturday, October 15, 2005

Canada blogging, eh?

Yes, I'm blogging from deep inside the evil Northern Empire. It was a risky trip, complete with birth certificates, friendly border guards, and Tim Horton's coffee shops. To show my dedication to the cause, I have even brought my family with me, leaving only the dog and cat behind to avenge our deaths if necessary.

These tricksy Canadians have built a training grounds here, clearly part of a plan to attack Europe. A perfect replica of London is hidden in the interior of Ontario, complete with a River Thames, Picadilly, Queen's Street, King's Street, Victoria Park, Oxford Street, Blackfriar's Bridge, and St. Paul's Cathedral. I have not discovered where they are hiding the Tower, but as I said, these Canadians are tricksy.

I've been eating their Sweet Marie's, Beef Wellington, and poutine, but I have not gone native. No "Zed" will ever pass my lips, nor shall my "again" ever fit in a My Fair Lady song. The babies are cute, and the history professors are friendly. I fear that they will try to pry secrets of the Republic from me with copious amounts of wine this evening. Of course, the joke's on them, as I'm not a Republican.

Monday, I am to be subjected to another evil, the great Blue country of southern Michigan. Every day I try to forgive my wife for having been brainwashed by those dastardly Ann Arborites, only to be thanked with this visit. I will sing "On Wisconsin" continuously to guard against contamination, with instructions given to the cat to end my life swiftly if I mention the name Lloyd.

Think well of me, as I face these dangerous lands. I will return for more regular blogging on Tuesday.


terminaldegree said...


I will play "On Wisconsin" in honor of you this week. (My high school students are in the midst of marching band, and many of their bands use O.W. as their fight song. Thus, I get to help them all memorize the damned song. Every. Year.)

Hucbald said...

Mmmmm... Beef Wellington... Not bad, but...

I was born in Canada. Newfoundland. Personally, I prefer fish. Go figure.

Scott Spiegelberg said...

Excuse me while I die from lack of surprise that a Newfie likes fish. That's almost as surprising as a Bostonian liking lobster, or a New Yorker prefering a bagel with a smear-n-lox.