Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I've got no strings, to hold me down

I'm celebrating my new wireless home network by blogging in my bedroom. I don't have much to say right now, though I'm working on a little essay on the purpose of music analysis. I can share a little personal details. We just moved from our Avon house to a little rental house in Greencastle. We had been trying to sell our house since April, with the hopes of buying something in Greencastle. We lost hope this month, and decided to rent something while we wait for the house to sell. Naturally, the house sold three days after we moved. And then we found a house we want to buy, so we could be moving twice in the space of a month.

But more importantly... Accordian jokes!

Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An accordion player with a pager.

Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.

Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What's the range of an accordion?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

Q: What's a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.

Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Q: What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet, nothing but net (er, blue water).

Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a concertina?
A: The accordion takes longer to burn.

Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?
A: Hide it in an accordion case.

Q: What's an accordion good for?
A: Learning how to fold a map.

Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?
A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

Remember, an accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.

3 comments:

Skwid said...

I think your wireless router has a skip in it...

Scott Spiegelberg said...

Ack! It was acting wonky at the end of the evening, seeming like it was frozen each time I hit publish. I'll have to learn the idiosyncracies of my Airport.

Anonymous said...

Did you hear about the accordion player who left his accordion in the back seat went out for breakfast after the gig, and when he got back the window had been smashed -and there were three more accordions on the seat.